Question Seven - What is the specific way in which my addiction has been manifesting itself most recently?

I think my addiction has been manifesting itself most recently in my overeating. Also, after talking to Kelly, I remember my birthday is coming up and I'm a huge ball of emotion right now.

Also, I've been dealing with a LOT of emotion around not being married or having children. So, with those emotions come thoughts of failure, defectiveness, and unworthiness. Those are the exact emotions I've been trying to avoid for the past 22 years. So, my addiction has been manifesting itself in overeating around those emotions. I want to change the way I feel and the only ways I know how to do that is to pop a pill or eat a bag of chocolate...OR...go to CraigsList, find a dude willing to have sex with me, and get pregnant. That way, I can at least have a child.

The thing with this whole situation is this: A prophesy was given to me that I would not be alone. The details of that prophesy were specific enough for me to know that it meant a husband and children. I was 16 years old. I'm now 36 years old. I wonder two things - did I misunderstand what God was trying to tell me, or is God screwing with me? Either way, I feel my faith wavering. Not in whether God exists or not...of that I am sure...more of what is going to happen to me from here on out. I've been of the mindset that "I have to take care of myself" for so long that right now, it feels that way again. Maybe I have to take matters into my own hands? Or, do I wait for God to do His thing...and possibly end up dying an old, unmarried, bitter woman without a family to care about?

That's where my addiction is showing itself...