Question Fifty-Eight: Do I believe that I'm a moster who has poisoned the whole world with my addiction? Do I believe that my addiction is utterly inconsequential to the larger society around me? Or something in between?

I feel like my addiction has been pretty much inconsequential to everyone around me. The reaction of my parents and my treatment counselor was proof of that fact. Neither believed me when I told them. No one in my family believed me when I told them. In fact, the only people who believed immediately when I told them were the people in meetings.

Looking back, I know that society at large was affected. Every job I have had I've been terrible at. When I was at work, I could do my work. But, when my attendance started going downhill, others had to pick up the slack, clients were affected, my boss was forced to find someone else to do my job as I was slacking.

When I started stealing my drugs, my mom was affected. I stole her pain meds, then lied about it to her, convincing her that she had taken them or misplaced them.

So, yes, though I thought my using was private and didn't affect anyone, it truly did.